Weekend Reading

How to End a Conversation

There's a smoother way to wrap things up

We’ve all been in this situation before, right? At a social event, work function or dinner party, where someone's talking to you, but you've lost all interest in what they're saying. The other person just keeps talking and now you're wondering how you can get away without coming off as rude. Perhaps you just had a really interesting and fruitful discussion with someone, but you've heard enough and would like to move on. How do you wrap things up without offending the other person? We've talked in the past about how to be a better conversationalist, but what about when you want to end a conversation? That's a valuable skill as well. After all, you don't have unlimited time, so knowing how to gracefully bow out of a conversation is a classy move. A real gentleman understands that the way you end a chat is just as important as how you start it. Consider this your escape plan.

A gentleman always acknowledges the time and attention someone has given him. Whether it was a brief exchange or a lengthy discussion, saying thanks is a simple yet powerful way to convey appreciation. Start with a phrase as straightforward as “Thank you for your time” or “I appreciate our conversation.” It goes a long way in leaving a positive impression. Morag Barrett, a leadership coach and author of Cultivate: The Power of Winning Relationships suggests accompanying this statement with a handshake (in more formal or business situations), and then moving on.

If you can't get out straight away, look for those natural lulls in the conversation to provide a subtle indication that the conversation is coming to an end. Words like “so ...” and “well ...” emerge when a conversation has momentarily stalled and provide the perfect opportunity to begin to disengage. This is considerate and helps avoid abruptness. Then you can toss in a phrase such as “It's been a pleasure talking with you,” or “I won't keep you any longer” to serve as gentle cues that the interaction is winding down.

Recap the main points of your chat briefly. It shows you were paying attention, allows for a moment of reflection and leaves a good impression. You're basically bringing the conversation around to the reason you connected in the first place. Try something like, “I really appreciate the travel tips and will definitely hit that shop in Paris.”

Non-verbal cues matter. You're wanting to get out of this conversation without offending someone so diverting your eyes and scanning the horizon is not the move. Maintain eye contact, throw in a genuine smile, and use open gestures. It's all part of the respectful exit strategy.

If you've done all the previous steps, then you're left with no choice but to deploy a straightforward exit line. No need to make an excuse or come up with a lie. Just emphasize that you need to do something (and you most likey will). This way, your exit feels less like a judgment of the other person. It's not them, it's that you “need to grab my seat,” or “get back to work to hit that deadline,” or “want to make sure I say hello” to so-and-so. You can also use a little self-deprecating humor, like “Anyway, I've wasted enough of your time ...”