The Daily Valet. - 12/4/20, Friday

✔️ Shattered Windows

Friday, December 4th Edition

Cory Ohlendorf, Editor in Chief of Valet.

If you had $45,000 ... would you buy a car or your own monolith?

Cory Ohlendorf , Editor ⋯ @coryohlendorf

Today’s Big Story

Shattered Windows

It’s a day Hollywood won’t soon forget

The coronavirus pandemic has been responsible for some shocking developments in the film world so far: Tenet keeping its release date, Wonder Woman 1984 debuting on HBO Max on Christmas Day and Mulan eschewing U.S. theaters for Disney Plus, to name just a few.

Hollywood’s dealing with a lot of uncertainty. But one fact that's pretty much undisputed is that people won’t be returning to theaters anytime soon. As much as I miss the unique freedom of shoveling popcorn into my unmasked mouth in the dark, I gotta say, I'm not in a hurry to get back.

On Thursday, Warner Brothers responded to the lack of theatergoers with one swift action: cutting out the release window—industry parlance for the period of time between a film’s theatrical debut and its release on home entertainment. The studio declared that its entire 2021 film slate would premiere on HBO Max and in theaters simultaneously. The line-up includes some big movies, from The Matrix 4 and The Suicide Squad to Dune.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the unprecedented move upsets a model that has been in place for decades. And while Warner Bros. stressed that these are pandemic-only rules, it’s hard to imagine a world where you reverse something like this once you allow it to happen. Consumers want choices, and this gives more choices ... multi-platforming seems like a more realistic future.

Of course, movie-watching habits have been changing for years, so theaters weren't in a great position even before the pandemic. But after this “bombshell” announcement, Deadline reports that theater chains like AMC Entertainment and Cinemark saw stocks plunge.

I think like malls or magazines, theaters will still be around in the future. But they'll have to change. They might have to be better. They’ll have to be niche and really deliver on the experience. And after more than a year of watching films on our sofas, a night of moviegoing might be a refreshing change.

↦ Meanwhile: The long-delayed James Bond film, No Time to Die, could face more delays as backers decide to wait or stream.

UPS Slaps Stores With Shipping Limits

It halted package pickups for some big brands

As holiday shopping heats up after the biggest U.S. e-commerce day ever, delivery services are bracing for what some have called “shipageddon.” It's feared that up to seven million packages a day between now and Christmas could face delays.

According to the Wall Street Journal, UPS told its drivers on Cyber Monday to stop picking up packages at some of the largest retailers in the U.S., such as Nike and Gap, after they reached capacity allocations set by the delivery company.

These temporary limits—which some drivers say they haven't seen during previous holiday seasons—are a sign that UPS is metering the flow of packages. A UPS spokesperson told CNBC that the company is working with retailers to ensure the volume gets picked up. And so far, the brands say the slight delay won't throw off delivery times much.

Ultimately, this is a good thing because it means that if you're dropping something off at FedEx or UPS, they'll prioritize that over the bulk of boxes coming from a retailer's distribution center.

↦ FYI: Walmart Plus just dropped its $35 free shipping minimum to better compete with Amazon Prime.

Biden’s Plan: Wear a Mask for 100 Days

“And I think we’ll see a significant reduction.”

President-elect Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris sat down with CNN on Thursday for their first joint interview since the election.

In the hour-long segment, the pair laid out plans for responding to the pandemic, jump-starting the economy and managing the transition of power, among other priorities.

Biden said he plans to ask the American public to wear face masks for the first three months of his presidency: "Just 100 days to mask, not forever. 100 days. And I think we'll see a significant reduction."

The coronavirus pandemic has dominated Biden's transition, and the former vice president acknowledged that it likely will do the same during his first year in office. The New York Times reports he has asked Dr. Anthony Fauci, a member of Trump's coronavirus task force, to be a chief medical adviser and part of his COVID-19 response team when his administration begins next month.

↦ Dig Deeper: Axios breaks down the highlights of his interview, from international affairs to climate change.

Monolith Backlash Has Arrived

This is why we can’t have nice things

If you've been reading this newsletter for the past week, you're aware of the metal monolith that popped up and then, just as mysteriously, disappeared in the Utah desert.

I'll admit, I was intrigued. Look, 2020 has been rough and a little otherworldly magic was interesting. Then another one showed up overnight in Romania before disappearing. Yesterday, another in California. It gripped the internet, with people alternatively suspecting aliens, or a self-promotional stunt from a brand.

While some lamented it on on social media, others posted selfies from their pilgrimages to the tall metal structures. Which is why the original was torn down in the dead of night—because locals discovered visitors were ruining the natural landscape trying to get to it. “This land wasn't physically prepared for this (especially during a pandemic). People arrived by car, by bus, by van ... and there isn't even a parking lot,” they told Grit News.

The Intelligencer's Sarah Jones makes a harsh critique of both the event and the collective reaction it demands. “The monoliths are an elbow in the ribs. Look, monkey, here's your dopamine hit! Now tweet!” And in a fitting end, Mashable reports a community of artists known as The Most Famous Artist took credit for the whole fiasco on Thursday. Of course, they're now selling them for the low price of $45,000.

In Other News

Other Things We’re Talking About Today

What you bought in November

Christmas cookies

This animal daring rescue

Your Weekend Pairing

Sound of Metal + a White Noise Cocktail

I've been a fan of Riz Ahmed since his transformative role in HBO's The Night Of. His new film, Sound of Metal, debuting today on Amazon Prime, is just as engaging and profound. Ahmed plays a drummer for a metal band who discovers he's rapidly losing his hearing and with it almost his entire way of living. He fears he'll no longer be able to perform and that he'll lose his girlfriend, Olivia Cooke's Lou, a source of stability in his life who tours with him. The path Ruben must undertake requires him to reevaluate his entire sense of self and identity.

The film is getting rave reviews. The Stranger says it explores the Deaf—with a capital D—community and culture in a way few other pieces of cinema have, breaking down prevailing notions outsiders might have. Deadline calls it nothing less than brilliant, highlighting the "extraordinary sound design that puts us right in his head, we experience first-hand exactly what is happening to this man."

↦ Your Pairing:While I'm enjoying the movie this weekend, I'll be sipping on a sparkling White Noise cocktail from Epicurious. This incredibly simple, slightly bitter cocktail is the perfect aperitif before a meal—it packs the structure and flavor of a classic cocktail, without the high alcohol content.

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